VLOG Struggles of Motherhood.


morning guys so we are on our way to

bring Kyle to work he is going on a work

trip he’s actually going to Vegas so

lucky him but it is for work so we’re

gonna go drop him off there and I just

want to show you a quick outfit of the

day I don’t really know what we’re doing

today I think we’re gonna run out to my

mom’s cuz she’s like renovating her

bathroom and stuff so I wanted to see

that and help her decide like on light

fixtures and stuff so anyway I just want

to show you guys a quick out for the of

a little you guys a quick outfit of the

day so my earrings are just these little

like studs from Kate Spade my sweater is

actually from Target it’s a maternity

and it was like six dollars or something

seven dollars yeah it’s my journey you

can’t even tell so super cute comfy

leggings from Target and then I have to

use it boots on from Charlotte Russe so

that’s the outfit of the day and we are

about to hop in the car and bring Kai to

work I need to chop my hair on

Familia please

what would you cut what kind of cut

would you down half what it’s called

I have half Bob where we going babe I’m

going to work so of us have to go to

work it’s all of us can never leave so

where are you going babe

a little Vegas Vegas for work we’re

gonna be happy it’s the world of

concrete Vegas it’s gonna be classes all

day all night non-stop work hopefully we

get time to go to like dinner or

something yeah feel like I’m gonna get a

call that he’s in the biggest prison

casinos with strippers why would I be in

jail with the strippers I mean with


it’s legal there it is you’re not going

yeah this girl aren’t here needed meet

Jim Jim Jane what you got mr. doggy so

we are home now we went to my mom’s

house for a little while I didn’t film

at all there just because they were like

pretty much in there well they were in

there painting clothes I was gonna say

pajamas but hair like in there painting

clothes and stuff and um yeah my mom was

just like had her hair up and so my mom

I know would not have wanted to be on


nothing at me so I’m still waiting for

our hello fresh in it’s past 5:00 so

kind of just like might warm up some

soup that I made yesterday for dinner

I’ve been thinking about going through

my closet because especially now being

like a stay-at-home mom and stuff I

really don’t wear so much stuff in my

closet and I feel like I just need to go

through it and instead of going through

it and picking out things that I don’t

really wear much I feel like I want to

go the opposite way and like pull out my

absolute favorites like I would

definitely notice the next day if

someone stole them out of my closet like

what are my favorite favorite things

that are like my go-to pieces and pull

those out first and then maybe go

through the rest and figure out oh well

like on a night out I like to wear a top

like this or like something like that

that way I have like my absolute

favorite items and then I can kind of go

through what’s left so I might start on

that this is like my top sweaters well

okay my winter tops winter sweaters

things like that and then my other

closet has all of my like more wintry or

fall dresses

okay so just put the baby to bed and I

just wanted to talk a little bit because

I feel like especially with social media

the way that is people’s lives can look

different than what they really are and

I really want my channel to be authentic

and honest and I would never start a

channel to create this like persona of

someone that I am NOT or to create this

life that is unrealistic and not how it

really is

so obviously what am I gonna talk about

is not something that I necessarily

could have filmed because my hands were

full so I just want to do like a little

mob chat here I talked a little bit

about postpartum in one of my other

vlogs and I just wanted to say that

being a mom is very hard and just

because people post the happy things and

maybe I should say just because I post

the happy things and show knocks on my

channel all the time and he seems so

happy which he is such a happy baby but

do not get me wrong and think that there

are not days that I am literally pulling

my hair out and it seems like he cries

the entire day for no reason um so we

just had like what time is it 7 o’clock

so we just probably had three hours of

fussing so any time I would put him down

he would either cry Philon cry

or he would just like fast second unless

I would like come over and console him

in and then even when I put his binky

and he just kind of like rips it out and

would start fussing again so it kind of

just makes you feel like you’re not

doing a good job or like you’re doing

something wrong and it’s really hard

because I am a stay-at-home mom I work

full-time from home so my biggest job in

life is to be a good mom and being a

stay-at-home mom

he is my main focus he is my main

priority every second of every single

day which is amazing but it is literally

the hardest thing in the world

so I’m sorry you’ve known if this is

making sense I’m kind of like bouncing

around and this is more of like a rant

slash event than anything yeah it’s just

it’s really really hard so we just had a

few hours that were really rough and

when you feel like you’re not doing a

good job it’s just frustrating because

you’re doing your best and you don’t

know what to do especially if you’re a

first-time mom like I don’t really know

if this is just a stage like my gut is

telling me he’s teething he was tired

towards the end of the day he’s

generally fussier anyway and he’s just

going through a fussy stage like it’s

just a stage that’s what my gut is

telling me but then there’s part of me

that like if I kind of let him fuss a

little bit say five minutes or something

there’s part of me that’s like what if

there’s something wrong but he’s fed

he’s changed she’s got clean clothes on

like it’s been a challenging stage I

guess I should say challenging stage and

I don’t always know what I’m supposed to

do and I do my best to just not get

frustrated and like walk away if I have

to but then you feel guilty for walking

away you feel guilty for letting them

cry you feel guilty for entertaining

them because the more you entertain him

I feel like the more I am

like creating more of an issue like if

the sometimes I think that the issue is

I’m too attentive and now he needs me to

entertain him 24/7

I know that I’m very attentive scenery a

lot of the times he is like frustrated

and bored like that so my gut is telling

me is that he’s bored and he’s

frustrated because he can’t crawl and he

can’t walk and he wants to so bad he was

to go around and explore and he’s just

not a sit still baby like and it’s

really hard to get any work done or to

do anything like shower sometimes it’s

so hard to shower because he just

screamed so when I put him down he does

not want to be put down and this is

definitely like something that’s a

little bit more new that’s why I think

it’s a phase and I hope it’s a phase own

like maybe we have been to I don’t know

if attentive the word but kind of like

playing with him too often so he doesn’t

know how to entertain himself I don’t

know guys but if you are a mom or you

have any tips please let me know because

I’m kind of caught between what am I

doing wrong and then do I just need to

like let him cry it out a few times or

them down below or if you can relate at

all or if babies are sometimes just

fussy for no reason how do you how do

you know that it’s for no reason and

what is it okay to do like is it okay to

walk away for five minutes and let them

cry I don’t have a problem doing that

when I know he needs a nap but it’s hard

to do that when I know he’s just not

happy with what he’s doing and just to

wrap around to what I was saying in the

beginning with social media and all that

I just want you guys to know that I keep

like my Instagram and videos and stuff

like that very positive because I want

to be putting positive things out in the

world I don’t want to be one of those

people that complains there is negative

all the time but I still want to stay

raw and real with you guys in honest so

I’m being honest and raw and saying I’m

having a hard time and being a mom is

not easy so yeah that’s really all that

I want to say I’ve got this baby over

here oh my god

oh man guys also mom life that is

blueberry vomit not just blueberry but

vomit after eating blue ears it’s

awesome it’s the only long-sleeve white

t-shirt I have okay I’m gonna go wash my

face eyes are like so wretched watery

wash my face brush my teeth

and snuggle in for the bachelor he’s got

blue Brown is that I don’t know if you

guys can see that what did you have for


do you have Greek yogurt plain Greek

yogurt with blueberries and purple


I am I worked on the computer for a

little bit and then I did the dishes

which were like heaping up over the

countertop because Kyle’s not home and

he normally does the dishes cuz he knows

that’s the one thing that I hate and

then I got ready showered up put some

makeup on and he’s winding down for a

nap here pretty soon my hair is

something else yeah I didn’t do my hair

at all like I literally just took it out

of a messy bun I want to go through his

clothes today because he kind of like

skipped a size I feel like he was only

in six-month clothing for literally like

two weeks and now he is in six to nine

months I have a bunch of clothes in the

basement and it’s like mix sizing all

the sizes that are like too big for him

right now so I’m gonna go down and see

what’s in there for six to nine months

and pull it out to make sure that we get

some use out of it before he jumps to

the next size yeah I’m also going

through my closets because when I get

dressed in the morning I literally just

have no idea what to wear because I have

so much stuff that’s like cluttering my

closet that I will never pull out and

we’re okay so now that I had gone

through all my sweaters I’m going to be

taking pictures of them and posting them

on Instagram I’m just going to take

pictures of everything and post it


so I’m gonna try to get these posted

the baby is sleeping and then I just

went downstairs and grab a bin of all

the clothes that don’t fit him yet and

I’m gonna go through them and figure out

what is his size right now and what is



okay so I have a bin that I need to tape

it back down to the basement open and

then I will take all of that stuff up


literally last it like 30 minutes okay

so we just hopped in the car and I’m

actually running to Marshall so I bought

some yoga pants that I need to return

so yeah that’s we’re gonna go do and I

feel like home I vlog every single week

and they feel like in every vlog I’m

like shopping or returning something

which is true like that is the truth and

that’s exactly what I’m doing but I feel

like I shopped so often in like a lot of

times I’ll go to TJ Maxx like every

single week but I might only leave there

with like one item that was on sale for

$10 or something like that so I shop

often but I pretty much only buy things

that are on sale and with that said I’m

always shopping with the baby so I

always have them like strapped to me so

I’d never turn anything on anymore

which leads to tons of returns so yeah

that’s why I’m shopping all the time and

that is why I’m returning things all the

time I guess can see my battery’s dying


guess I’m gonna have to pick up this

vlog when I get home

so I’m currently sitting on the floor

because my room is a catastrophe I have

like bins bags crap all over the bed so

also okay go falfa um but we just got

back from Marshalls so I figured I would

just show you guys what I returned my

stuff for I um I grabbed some coconut

oil because this is the biggest thing of

coconut oil I’ve ever seen it’s

literally mmm this is my head and this

whole thing was ten bucks so um if you

guys buy coconut oil then you know how

expensive it can be something like this

could easily be twenty dollars these are

a pair of yoga pants that I found there

by the brand Marika the twelve bucks

they’re just plain black wow that just

lately messed up my camera um but

they’re just super stretchy and I loved

like the fabric of them they’re like

that slippery material so yeah in the

back you just kind of have like the

little emblem and I liked the seams that

come down the bomb like that so

hopefully they fit and the other ones I

got these were $12 I mean these are by

jockey they’re just used like heathered

dark grey ones again super stretchy

these ones are like softer kind of that

like super soft like cotton material

almost and then I also picked up this

for eight bucks because I’m so excited

for it to be spring here and for it to

be warm because Kyle and I go for like

morning runs all the time

so I picked this up it’s super cute just

black with these gray like heathered

sleeves it’s really soft on the inside

stretchy I like that it has this little

piece that comes up around the neck and

it has a hood on it super stretchy comfy

it was eight bucks so I was like yes I’m

gonna buy that and then to super random

things but I’ve been eating oatmeal

every day just to help with my milk

supply because he’s going through a

growth spurt and at times I feel like I

just like can’t keep up like I just feel

empty all the time and oatmeal um has

been one of the biggest things that’s

helped and I like chocolate on my

oatmeal but feel like eating chocolate

every single day

no I’m trying to cut down on my sugar a

little bit I got these cacao nibs which

I’ve never had before actually let me

try them oh my gosh it smells so good

yeah it smells like dark chocolate is

hmm so I think these will be really

really good on oatmeal because they’re

crunchy they’re a little bit better and

I always put through on my oatmeal so

it’ll be like sweet I have that like

bitter dark chocolate flavor yeah I like

those every time I get on camera

my face hurts it’s like my nose itches

my eyes and I’m like oh my god okay and

then the last random thing that I picked

up is the honest multi-surface

grapefruit cleaner stairs I have like a

bathroom cleaner and I’ve been using

that like on all the surfaces up here

but and it’s like oh that smells so good

it smells just like a grapefruit but

yeah I needed like a good multi surface

one so picked that right now I’m just

going through my Instagram cuz I had

posted all of those sweaters and I have

like 20 messages when I open my phone

now like oh so I gotta get all that

organized and bagged up what people have

bought and write down addresses and all

of that yeah is so good thing I am

organizing and making trips to the

basement because earlier I went down I

gotta breath cuz I just came out three

flights of stairs um earlier I went down

in the basement and there was like a

little trickle of water coming down the

wall and we live in an old old house

like early early 1900s or late 1800s so

it’s a really old house so we get small

leaks sometimes but generally like where

we live in January the weather never

gets warmer than like freezing so today

it’s been like 50 degrees and everything

melted so our entire basement is wet and

that this always happens

stuff like this always happens on Kyle’s

go on so I’m not telling him so

thankfully I have an amazing family and

I’m able to call my dad

add for help but I’ll show you guys kind

of what we’re dealing with here

so unfortunately like I can’t really get

over I mean I can put boots on but I

have the baby and I don’t want to I

can’t move anything so there’s no point

me going over there but stuff is gonna

start to get wet I don’t know if you

guys can hear that the water is

legitimately pouring in at this point

and if I hadn’t come down to check this

would have been flooded like by morning

so there’s a whole nother puddle like

over here I mean it is like guys

literally always happens when I was gone

it just sucks and I he would be so

stressed out if you knew but I thought

as we over thank God and hopefully we

can get it figured out


hi I um

guess why no the basement yeah there’s

like two inches of water in the worst

spot just called dad okay because Bert

said he’s gonna pop at that restaurant –


I am so tired been a few hours and my

dad brought over my sump pump purred I

don’t know whatever it’s called and we

pumped the water out of the basement

they like made trench like things in the

backyard so the water can drain they

pumped the water in our driveway I’m

saying they my brother my dad because my

brother lives in our apartment above the

garage but uh yeah so they were taking

care of all the water and everything and

then they brought the sump pump

downstairs into the basement pumped I’ve

just knees notice how I have talked oh

my gosh don’t decide I have to hold my

crotch after having a baby you really

got to take precautions when you sneeze

anyway um was I saying so I feel like

this whole like I feel like the vlog

this whole week has been a mess because

I feel like I’ve been a mess I took two

days off from vlogging usually I vlog

like Monday through Thursday ish or so

and I’ve logged Monday and now it’s

Thursday and I try to vlog again and not

much happen today like nothing

interesting I didn’t do anything

interesting and then my nights a

show once again just like it was on

Monday which is why I took two days off

from vlogging because I just like I

needed a break but you just can’t catch

a break sometimes which it’s not a big

deal I mean it’s not like it’s gonna

flood in someone’s in danger like it’s

not like that it’s just frustrating when

you’re home alone with a five-month-old

and your basement flooding and that’s

where you keep all your but yeah I

will see you guys in the morning

okay okay oh this is gonna be fun

easy easy that’s it okay oh hey

good morning guys so it is Friday um and

it is in the afternoon we’ve had a

pretty chill morning yeah

some days are boring some days are very

exciting yeah but I’m just gonna kind of

clean up the house vacuum I need to do

the dishes do a big load of laundry and

yeah hello you don’t mom to put some

music on for you oh yeah yeah we love


totally dude

this your new car

Wow my eyes look really red and tired I

so it is currently like 9:40 at night

and I’m currently eating pizza in bed

which is like a once every 6 month

occasion I literally like never ever do

this I usually have like an apple and

peanut butter before I go to sleep or

something like that

yeah I’m currently eating pizza it’s

from a local place so it has like you

can see breath and trying to get it no

thank you

it has vegetarian sausage fresh

mozzarella basil caramelized onion and

like a spicy tomato sauce it’s so so

good like anytime I go to a restaurant I

always try to get a salad to like be

really good but whenever we go to this

place I always get like I always let

myself get the pizza and it’s so so good

I let myself eat as much as I want of it

but I had like half of it today for

lunch and I’m eating the other half for

dinner because I haven’t eaten in like

hours yeah today’s diet was just a

little bit like my timing was off and

everything was just a little bit off

he’s like throwing a fit because he

wants no honey no no thank you

I just filled your bowl downstairs go

eat out of that I feel like this week’s

blog has been a complete show I

don’t even remember what I filmed I

don’t know if it’s anything interesting

but it’s life it’s what this week was

and so whatever I filmed I’m sure is a

good rep you yeah I’m sure it’s a good

representation of what our week with it

so yeah thank you guys so much for

watching we love you and we’ll see you

in next week’s video guys bye.


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